Dear world, under the holey connotations that  are sparkly balls of far off fires. Some of which burn as bold as the desires of my soul to understand what the hell happen this year in this ruckus, fanatical, tangle that is currently  called my life. What the fuckin' shit people! Shit has hit the fan, been chopped by the blades into chunks that are splattered and flung chaotically across ceiling and walls. Melding  into a thick, plastery, paste that clings to yet, slowly peels away from it's place and seems to be crawling away to a pile; a mushy cardboard-esk puddle of self pity and disparage, thus is my current life situation.

have fun?

*winter

Destination..the wild sea

"You'll have to ride with me when I go to the airport so you can see the road, Winter" Leo says.

 As we drive I can understand why. 

A dense foliage encases us, slowly reaching up and becoming denser and taller until it reaches over the top of us.

As if a tunnel were cut out of the center for us to drive.

 It is dark and the road is endless and rocky,

 Small indents on the sides indicate cross roads.

 The GPS, to our amazement, knows they are roads but not their names.

Dry river beds, I'm told, are usually gushing but the season has not yielded much rain.

So most are nothing more then dry rock and an impression of a past watery pathway.

 We reach a maze of twisted road with small signs and gated off entrances.

 The men laugh at their own disorientation.

"I think it's this way? Wait no, backup, this way!"

"When did we get a new gate?"

 "No wait, it's the next one."

The last rocky road leads to a dark wooden open house.

 The posts and boards still in the form of natural tree shape.

Beautiful and tropical.

 Surrounded by tropical trees, plants and the roar of the wild sea."

Excerpt from my Costa Rica journal

the road may be rocky

but the journey is well worth the ruts

have fun.

*winter

The sea gave to me..

"I stood at the door to the sea and asked it to bring to me

a gift that reminded me of

you and me.

I waited patiently upon the shore,

 when the sea gave to me

 the shell of a lobster

and

with another wave

another appeared.

 Both  dead, yet fully intact.

Their inner meats eaten away

 so only the hard case remained.

Their story flooded my mind.

Two lovers traveling to shore.

 Their lives together shared.

Edging towards the mysterious shore, the adventure a pinnacle of their days.

 It made me think of us and our relationship through the years.

 One that now is only an empty shell, our adventure at it's end.

With the shell of our old selves remaining at the end.

I pulled them from the wash and set them side by side on the drift wood bench.

 Letting their tentacles touch and faced them to the sea,

 so they could view how far they had come.

 As the tide pulled away, the sun rose and burned through the clouds.

 I thought of how true a representation they were of us and our time together.

They were lifeless yet strong.

I hung them neatly in a cross section of a tree, in hopes that they would dry and remain whole.

 My dad said if they were still there when he returned he would ship them to me.

How strange that there were two,

fully intact yet hallow,

 both next to one another,

 as if on some romantic journey that had gone awry.

 Their inner meaty hearts drained away by some unknown force,

 yet their strength still held in the protective shell.

 I happen to have collected on this shore at the time I thought of you and me.

I also found a rock, red like a burning ember.

Which I also collected, but left behind in my room so that when I returned I would remember

 a time I thought of us and things were strong,

 but dead inside.

It made me realize that our time had past

 but would always remain,

 in it's place strong and bound together."

Excerpt from my Costa Rica journal....

be strong,

have fun.

*winter

By the way

I went to Costa Rica for 15 days with my Dad.....

I loved it here

..more to come ...

Have fun.

*winter

A new path

A new direction

a fresh start

adventure around the bend

have fun.

*winter

oh by the way...

yep I'm thirty...... 

I thought some magical thing would occur, the  sky would open up and a giant token would appear marked 30 in gold, with stars and glitter as if I had achieved a mile stone or goal in a Mario Bros. Where's the castle, that nifty flag, Gold coin? So far I don't feel any change, except the urge to figure out who else is thirty, look into their life and  see what the mark of thirty is for them, and maybe that's what mine is too.  Otherwise I 'm basically the same, I do have slightly more obligations to be responsible in my life and I can mark off some goals I wanted to conquer. All in all, I'm thirty and that is okay by me.

Have fun.

*winter

Bouquet

Have fun.

*winter 

A New Year

Have fun.

*winter